- Winning too much: The need to win at all costs and in all
situations-when it matters, when it doesn't, and when it's
totally beside the point.
- Adding too much value: The overwhelming desire to add our
two cents to every discussion.
- Passing judgment: The need to rate others and impose our
standards on them.
- Making destructive comments: The needless sarcasms and
cutting remarks that we think make us sound sharp and witty.
- Starting with "No," "But," or "However": The overuse of these
negative qualifiers which secretly say to everyone, "I'm right.
You're wrong."
- Telling the world how smart we are: The need to show people
we're smarter than they think we are.
- Speaking when angry: Using emotional volatility as a
management tool.
- Negativity, or "Let me explain why that won't work': The need
to share our negative thoughts even when we weren't asked.
- Withholding information: The refusal to share information in
order to maintain an advantage over others.
- Failing to give proper recognition: The inability to praise and
reward.
- Claiming credit that we dolt deserve: The most annoying way
to overestimate our contribution to any success.
- Making excuses: The need to reposition our annoying behavior
as a permanent fixture so people excuse us for it.
- Clinging to the past: The need to deflect blame away from
ourselves and onto events and people from our past; a subset of
blaming everyone else.
- Playing favorites: Failing to see that we are treating someone
unfairly.
- Refusing to express regret: The inability to take responsibility
for our actions, admit we're wrong, or recognize how our actions
affect others.
- Not listening: The most passive-aggressive form of disrespect for
colleagues.
- Failing to express gratitude: The most basic form of bad
manners.
- Punishing the messenger: The misguided need to attack the
innocent who are usually only trying to help us.
- Passing the buck: The need to blame everyone but ourselves.
- An excessive need to be "me": Exalting our faults as virtues
simply because they're who we are.
From
What Got You Here Won't Get You There: How successful people become even more successful
by Marshall Goldsmith, pp 41-42.
